One of the hardest things in my life is letting God be in control. I have a control issue. Yes, I know it is hard to believe if you know me. (I'm being sarcastic) Anyway, after we decided that God was leading us to Russia guess what? I go and start second guessing Him. I start thinking that maybe I should try having a child myself. Right there would be a miracle because I have so many problems female wise. I mean who wouldn't want to have a child with my genes? I would like to point out that this only lasted a week and then I was smacked back on track. I realized that even if I could conceive I would have a 50/50 chance at having a girl and trust me that was not an odd I wanted to play with. There is nothing wrong with boys it is just I wanted a girl.
So, now I have made it into July and in search of an agency to help me. I found one that was two hours away but the chances of them taking me as their client was slim because I was outside of their radius. I decided to try anyway. They called and said that they would and could do it. I was thrilled! I was then assigned my case worker and they said that I wouldn't be meeting with her until the middle of August! Okay, right there I should have started looking again but I didn't. So meanwhile the month of July was spent dreaming about this little girl that would soon take her place in our lives. One day in the pool my best friend, the one I have been referring too I'm going to give her a name, Thelma, she and I were talking about names. She asked me if I had a name picked out and without hesitation I said "London". Thelma looked at me and said it is beautiful. Ever since that day we have referred to our Russian princess as London. Today, we talk about London's room or when London gets here. To us she is real. To us she exists. God knows where she is and in His timing will bring her home one day.
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