I Take it Back- End of June and into July 2006

One of the hardest things in my life is letting God be in control. I have a control issue. Yes, I know it is hard to believe if you know me. (I'm being sarcastic) Anyway, after we decided that God was leading us to Russia guess what? I go and start second guessing Him. I start thinking that maybe I should try having a child myself. Right there would be a miracle because I have so many problems female wise. I mean who wouldn't want to have a child with my genes? I would like to point out that this only lasted a week and then I was smacked back on track. I realized that even if I could conceive I would have a 50/50 chance at having a girl and trust me that was not an odd I wanted to play with. There is nothing wrong with boys it is just I wanted a girl.
So, now I have made it into July and in search of an agency to help me. I found one that was two hours away but the chances of them taking me as their client was slim because I was outside of their radius. I decided to try anyway. They called and said that they would and could do it. I was thrilled! I was then assigned my case worker and they said that I wouldn't be meeting with her until the middle of August! Okay, right there I should have started looking again but I didn't. So meanwhile the month of July was spent dreaming about this little girl that would soon take her place in our lives. One day in the pool my best friend, the one I have been referring too I'm going to give her a name, Thelma, she and I were talking about names. She asked me if I had a name picked out and without hesitation I said "London". Thelma looked at me and said it is beautiful. Ever since that day we have referred to our Russian princess as London. Today, we talk about London's room or when London gets here. To us she is real. To us she exists. God knows where she is and in His timing will bring her home one day.

June 2006- You Want Me To Do What?

June was full of surprises. It started off with my niece's suprise 16th birthday of which I was involved and helped with. It was a lot of fun and yes she was very surprised. The next day her mom and I (my best friend of 25 years) was sitting on their front step resting after taking our walk. We were talking about the birthday party and how well it went off. Yes, we're proud of ourselves! Then her mother looked at me and said ok now it is your turn. I looked at her and said for what? She said to have a baby! Bahahahahahhaaaa! I laughed at her. However I saw this look in her eye and I said you are serious aren't you. She looked back at me paused and said yes then she laughed and said I think so. Then we both laughed. Sometimes God uses people in your life to water the seeds. Seeds which you might have thought were buried, dead and gone, He sends someone in to till up that old soil and water it.
So while we went on to another subject to talk about in the back of my mind was this idea. I mean I have always wanted to be a mother. I mean that was my plan as little girl. I would grow up, marry a handsome man, be a wife and have at least two babies, preferably twins. Uh none of that happened! Here I was 40, single and no handsome (or ugly) man insight! How in the world could I have a baby????
Advance forward two weeks.....my neice's baskteball tournament. Her mother and I are in the car just talking away. I bring up the subject about me having a baby and start laughing again. I look at her mother and said how can I do that I'm single. I know that there are sinlge women that do it all the time but I just don't think that it would be fair to a child well for me anyway. Okay wrong thing to say because that is when she looked at me and said you know I have been thinking about this and if you really wanted to do this I would quit my job and stay home and help raise the baby! WHAT????? Are you serious??? Yes, she was very serious. Just at that time the song, "How Great Is Our God" comes on the radio. By this time we were at the tournament and we could both mull this over while we were watching the game.
At one point in the game this couple came in and their daughter was adopted from Russia sat in front of us. We both looked at each other and started talking about the possibility of adoption. I knew that in the U.S. it would take me forever and I didn't have forever to wait. I need to mention that my niece was adopted so I know how long it can be to wait. We talked about China and then Russia. It was time to take a break and so we went into town to the Wal-Mart. When we got in the car "How Great Is Our God" was playing on the radio again. In Wal-Mart we still kept discussing the options. We kept coming back to Russia everytime. Back inside the car again you guessed it "How Great Is Our God" was playing again. NO, I still didn't get that He was talking to me. It would take me several more months to realize that this was all in His hands. By the end of the day we had decided to check into adopting from Russia and before we left each other we prayed that God would guide us. That is exactly what He did.

May 2006 Something Big is Going To Happen

May 2006 started out much the same way that most of my May's start out. I'm in rehearsal for a community theatre production and I'm trying my best to get everyone wrapped up a school so that when May 31 comes I'm out the door and I'll see you in August. However, this May I felt that God was making plans for me. I had this feeling that I wouldn't be here or doing theatre like I normally do. Normally, for me is at least 2 or 3 shows a season. I was feeling like He wanted me to go out an minister. That Sunday at church our worship team played the song "How Great Is Our God". I was very moved because I knew that this was going to be the theme of the ministry that He was going to place me on. So, I told my best friend of 25 years, that I just didn't think that next year at this time I would be around here. She looked at me and said ok where will WE be. I laughed and told her that I felt that God had some type of ministry in mind. To know that she was going to be doing whatever ministry it was with me just thrilled me so. So, the two of us started talking about the type of venues that we thought God would put us in. We could see ourselves in big concert halls being the openers for such people like Beth Moore. I'm sure that God had a great laugh on that one! Little did we know what His plan for us would be. In June, He would reveal just what He had in store for the Dynamic Duo.