London's Bridge

Happy Mother's Day

2009-05-09T03:30:00.000-07:00

Mother’s Day is this Sunday and yes I get to join the ranks of those celebrating it! This Mother’s Day is my 1st of many more Mother’s Days to come. Although I’ve only been a mother for 10 months it seems as though it has been a lot longer. Those 10 months to be honest have not been the easiest for me but they have been a breeze for miss London Laura Sofiya. I will be the first to admit there have been many days that I have questioned God whether I heard His call right or not. When I question Him, He quickly reminds by placing this child, who no one wanted, who has changed more lives then she will ever realize, who has blossomed into this wonderfully, intelligent, beautiful 2 yr. old and that is when He smacks me in the head. These past 10 months have been a learning process of always keeping my eyes on Him. Seriously, I had my life all planned out the way it was supposed to go and a child was not included into that. The key word in the last phrase if you didn’t pick it up was I had planned. I’m so happy that “I” didn’t follow my plan. Trusting God has never been my strongest asset which is why I’m sure that He led me to London. Since London my friendships have been tested, my finances have been tested and my faith has been tested. Some of those tests I have failed because I was more focused on the “it” then on Him to get me through. With my friendships there have been many tests on different levels. I can’t just pick up and run off to the movies or Barnes and Noble like I used to and with that I don’t get to see those friends as often. Sure I still talk with them at least once a week but I don’t get to see them and I do miss it. My finances took a huge hit because of the cost of International Adoption and also because I have only one income. If I had had all the money, like Madonna, would I still look to God and have to trust Him every month? I would hope so but I’m human and I think I would fail Him in that area. Every month He asks me to trust Him and every month I do. Maybe I can’t go out and just buy anything like I used to but our basic needs He supplies. Maybe I’ll be in debt for another 10 years and maybe someday He will surprise me and I won’t have to live like this. I only hope that when that day comes, I will honor whatever request He places in my life and on my heart. Knowing what I know now, I still would go in debt for this child no questions asked. My daughter had no problem fitting into my life. When she stepped foot into my house the first time, it was as if she knew that she was home. It was me who had the problem. I had lived on my own for all these years and now there was this little person who was sharing my life and my home. However, God knew what He was doing when He put us together. She is perfect for me. She challenges me to grow as the chosen mom for her. I have been very blessed to have been given her and to have been given the friends and parents that I have. When I need to have some "me" time, they step in and help out and for that help I will be forever grateful. For the last 4 days, I haven’t been able to hug and kiss my daughter. Why? I have the flu. Maybe it is the H1N1 virus. The doctor didn’t say it was but they did give me a mask to wear in public and the Tamiflu pill. Oh yeah, plus I have all of the friggin symptoms! So, to keep her safe she has been at my parents. Keeping her safe, loving her, being her mom and teaching her that she is a child of God that is what I’m called to do.
For all of us mothers and those soon to be mothers, let me leave you with this we ARE the perfect mother that God has chosen for our children. He chose us just for them. He did not make a mistake. Some people might say that I saved London but the truth is she saved me! Happy Mother’s Day!

Free At Last!

2008-07-23T12:20:00.000-07:00

Mimi and Me at the Kremlin, Moscow

Eating at Pizza Hut, St. Petersburg Russia

Let's Go Home Mommy

On July 3 2008, we busted the Little Princess out of her orphanage and nothing has been the same for her or the mommy! The first night was like she had been with us all her life. We had to stay in St. Pete until Saturday so we got to know her a little bit more. She was very quit in the orphanage but as soon as she was out she showed us what she could do! We landed on American soil July 9th at day earlier then expected. Once we got settled into home London went to sleep in her crib that has been waiting for her for over a year now. The next days were like a whirlwind with people wanting to see and meet the Russian Princess. Now we are settled into a routine and she is a mommy's girl for sure!

Court Date

2008-07-23T12:14:00.000-07:00

On June 19th I was declared the mother of London Laura Sofiya Clark. The only problem was I would have to wait 10 days to get her. That meant I would be coming back home again without her but I knew that I wouldn't have to wait 3 months before I saw her again. On this trip London was at "Summer Camp" by the Baltic Sea. When we arrived it was very cold hence the snowsuit. We discovered that the little Russian Princess was starting to walk but only if you held her hands. She still just wanted to sit on our laps and be cuddled. The hour went by very fast and once again we would leave her. The best part was that she still remembered me!

May 26, 2008 Another day I won't forget!

2008-06-02T07:40:00.000-07:00

Waiting and waiting and waiting can really get to you. Especially when well meaning people ask you if you have heard anything. I decided to make a game of it and count how many times in a day I was asked that question. 20 times in a period of 4 hours was the record! Even though I tried to make a game of it I felt like I was being beat down and I would never get up again. I knew that God had not left me so I just kept asking Him for the strength to get through it and that is exactly what He would do. He would give me enough strength to get through the day and the next day if I would ask Him for it. On Monday, May 26th my little girl turned 14 months. I tried not to dwell on the fact that another month had gone by and I was not with her. I tried to look at it as yet another day closer to bringing her home. As I was looking at the sky I just started talking to God and told Him I don't know how much longer I can go on like this but you do so I will go through it. I decided enough was enough and I had to get busy getting things done around my house. At 2:03 my phone rang and it was Arna. She asked if I was sitting down and I said that I would be. "We have a court date for you, June 19th!" I was in shock and repeatedly thanked her over and over. As soon as I was off the phone I repeatedly thanked God over and over! While this process is not over, I know He has seen it through to completion. Trusting Him has been a lesson for me that I'm still learning. Looking back on it all had it not gone the way He wanted it to go, I would have never gotten this particular little girl and she is the one He wanted me to have. Waiting and waiting and waiting has been the best thing in my life!

March 27, 2008 a day I will never forget!

2008-05-01T11:49:00.000-07:00

We were picked up at 9 that morning to go to the Ministry of Education to get my referral. While I was waiting to go in, Viktor arrived with the medical information on London. We found out that she was/is perfect! What a load off my shoulders. Once I got the referral I was then immediately taken to meet my daughter, who was known as Sofiya. Jayne and Kristin were both allowed to see her too which we just praised God for that answered prayer.

I don't remember them putting her in my arms. I remember her laying her head against my cheeck as I sang to her. When I stopped singing she looked up at me. She didn't cry at all when they put her in my arms. She had just turned 1 the day before so we sang happy birthday to her. All along I have said that God knew in my heart what I wanted. It is like being married to the perfect husband that knows your heart so well and gives you this gift that is far beyond what you'd ever expect or imagine. That is what God does. This is why I had to wait so long because He knew. He Knew!

8 MD

2008-05-01T11:42:00.000-07:00

We were picked up at 8 the next morning. Oksana our translator was with Viktor. I just wanted to hug her because she could speak English. She was/is great. We then went to the building where I would have the 8 MD done. I was more concerned about having my blood drawn because I'm a hard stick. However, that was the first thing that they did and she got the blood on the first stick!!!! Then I had tea and cookies! The rest of the exams were very easy. Nothing bad at all. Then the head doctor said that I looked Russian and that I would make a good Mamma!
We had bible study every night which for me put the day into perspective. We did Beth Moore's bible study A Woman's Heart God's Tabernacle. It was really neat to have Kristin's 17 year old opinion but more then that it was just wonderful to share with each other. That night we prayed that Jayne and Kristin would get in to see London because they had told us there might be a chance that they wouldn't. I also had break down number 2 then. We just believed that God would come through for us.

St. Petersburg Russia

2008-05-01T11:34:00.000-07:00

We arrived in St. Petersburg on the 25th March. Ok I was nervous because I was going to meet my daughter. Deep in my heart I knew that she was going to be perfect but still you have those doubts that creep in. I also had to have my 8 MD done which was another thing that I was nervous about. Oh, not to mention that I was traveling to a foreign country where most/all of them don't speak nor understand English. The closer we got to St. Petersburg the sicker I was getting. Yep, I had to use the bag on the airplane!! That was the first time I have ever had to do that! Once we landed I was still sick but not as bad. Now we had to go through customs. We made it through just fine and then the task was to find Viktor our driver. I went to the information booth no Viktor so I had the lady call the number. Well, Viktor was there we passed him several times. We loaded into Viktor's car and off we went. Did anyone say that Russians drive crazy! We loved it. It was snowing in St. Petersburg and was dark and gloomy. I'm sure that also didn't help the way that I was feeling. We got to our hotel and we managed to stay up unitl 9 so that we could get on their time schedule. The next morning would be the 8 MD!

It's A Girl

2008-05-01T11:32:00.000-07:00

I received word that I would be traveling the day after Easter to meet my daughter!!!!!!!! To say His timing is perfect is an understatement. Jayne's daughter, my "niece" gets to go with us because she is on spring break. This is the other thing that we were praying for so that Kristin could also meet London! Thank you God you are the best.

London't Room

2008-03-11T08:16:00.000-07:00

I have clothes in my closet!

I have new book shelf from the Aunt Linda, Aunt Cha-cha and Aunt Laura!

9 Months but who is counting???

2008-02-04T14:41:00.000-08:00

This month I'll be 9 months on paper. However, let me update you on some important things like my agency was finally accredited in December!!! That was a very nice Christmas present. So now what you may ask??? More waiting, more updating of documents as they expire and more just trusting God. 2008 didn't start out like I thought it would. I lost a very dear friend and confidant in January. She died unexpectedly and not only I was affect but my entire working staff. She wasn't supposed to go. She was supposed to be here for the day when they called to tell me I'm a mommy! It's times like these when people start to question God. Like why did He have to take her now? It's times like these when we need to ask God to hold us in His big arms. I know that London now has 3 guardian angels watching over her.
In the next few weeks I'll be saying good-bye to London's Aunt Cha-Cha as she moves to the big city to achieve her dreams. To say I'm going to miss her is an understatement. My life is going to be different without her in it and even though she is only 2 hours a way it still will be different. So while 2008 has started out as saying Good-Bye, I looking forward to the promise that God has for me...saying hello to my daughter.

7 Months

2007-12-18T11:52:00.000-08:00

Although I have been at this adoption for over a year, I really have to start counting it when my dossier went in to Russia which is now 7 months. So, I'm 7 months along. Technically, at 9 months I would be delivering but I know that my months and God's months are not in synch so I will continue to wait on Him. I did receive news from my agency that the papers have been signed and that is what I have been waiting on. The day I received the email I cried. Actually, I couldn't stop crying for awhile. They were tears of happiness, tears of relief and tears of oh my goodness I'm going to be a mommy! To say the least it was a nice Christmas present from God. I love how He works in my life. He is the best because He knows me inside and out. He knows when I need to hear just hang on, He knows when I need to be hugged, He knows when I'm trusting in Him. He knows it all. Sometimes I think that He shakes His head at me but this one thing I know He never, not in a million years, will give up on me. How Great is Our God? Really, Great!

Through Faith

2007-12-04T14:48:00.000-08:00

I just finished watching my Beth Moore bible study segment and I must say that each time I do a segment, finish a section, or study my lessons God's timing is perfect! I mean consider the fact that this bible study was written in 2003 and now four year later I'm doing it. I didn't even know who Beth Moore was back then but that was all part of His plan. He knew exactly when to bring her into my life because He was going to use her in a mighty way and that He is doing. Today we talked about a through faith. Sometimes God can come in and miraculously do His God thing but there are times when He wants us to go through it with faith. Why? Because just on the otherside is a promise to be fulfilled. He wants to make us a mighty warrior for faith conquers kingdoms. I've always believed in God and I have seen what He can do in my life many times over. What I have learned over the past year is that it was just not enough to say I believed in Him for He wants me to know it in my heart. HE WILL NOT FAIL ME. So while the question still looms out there about whether or not Russia will accredit any more agencies, He wants me to know that He WILL NOT FAIL ME. So I will continue pressing though with faith because the promise is on the other side.

The Grace to wait

2007-12-03T10:30:00.000-08:00

It takes grace to wait and right now I'm needing a lot of it. However, while I'm waiting and even though it might look like God is not even listening to me, He is still working. As of right now, my agency is still not accredited. The good news is that there were some agencies which did get accredited last week. Last week these agencies received the news. My agency was also supposed to be in this batch but wasn't. So, I find myself still waiting. The best part about God is this...when I give up He still forges ahead because He will accomplish what He set out to do in the first place. I take great comfort in knowing that He is in control. I can get upset and throw my little fit, which I sometimes do, but I'm choosing not to. I'm waiting for God on this. As Jayne, my best friend and Mimi to my daughter, says God wants to give us the desires of our hearts. As I have learned this weekend, yes He does but you really need to listen to the first part of that verse Delight yourself in me and I will give you the desires of your heart. Our focuse should be on Him and not on our desires. You know when I'm not concentrating on getting my daughter and my focus is shifted to Him the waiting doesn't bother me. When I focus on Him I understand that it is about Him, about His timing, about His plan that needs to be fulfilled in my life, I'm trusting Him and He is the one that really matters. He knows the perfect time for the desires of my heart and if I keep on trusting Him what He will give to me will be so much more then if I had try to force it. So, for all those expecting parents that are out there waiting, look to Him for the grace to wait.

Persevere

2007-11-07T13:11:00.000-08:00

You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised.
Okay so my iGoogle has been stuck on this verse for 2 days. The last time it was stuck on a verse for 2 days it was a sifting that I had to go through. I hate being sifted. However, I do know that in the end I will come out much better then when I started. We (meaning the agencies awaiting accreditation) go new that accreditation could be signed by November 15th. I'm not holding my breath but I will persevere. I have decided that I'm not going to ride the emotional roller coaster anymore because well it is just too hard. I have no control over this but my God does. He can take this and do wonderous things which I have already seen Him do. So yes, I will keep persevering through the storms with my eyes fixed on Him because my daughter waits for me at the end!

Joy Cometh

2007-10-24T10:28:00.000-07:00

It is now almost well pert near the end of October and my agency is still awaiting accreditation as are several other agencies. What is the hold up Interpol and a signature. Meanwhile children are sitting in an orphanage. My dossier has been submitted for 6 months which means I'm 6 months pregnant and HORMONAL! You know I thought that I was going to miss out on that side effect of pregnancy but not me. I'm not a waiter, never have been but God is really trying His best where I'm concerned. Last Saturday, I had a heart to heart conversation with my partner in crime who also went through adoption with her/our daughter. She said you know I would never wish these feelings on anybody especially you my best friend. There are so many highs and lows with adoption as I'm sure there is with a pregnancy. It has consumed my life and I just want to say I don't like it one bit! So we did the only thing that we can do which is pray. I cried all the way home. The next morning I just didn't even want to get out of bed. I had to sing at a church that night and I just didn't even feel like do that! I felt on the edge and I felt like I had nothing left to give. I made myself go to cantata practice and wouldn't you know it. He was waiting there for me! Who God! I was informed by the director of the cantata that a song which was originally taken out was going to be put back in and I would be singing it. What song? How Great is Our God. I still get salty discharge as I think back on that. Once again He swooped down and rescued me from jumping in that pit. Once again as I laid my head on my pillow I asked forgiveness for not trusting in Him, His timing and most of all His endless love for me. Weeping my endure for the night but JOY COMETH. I've only tasted a small portion of that joy because I know that it will overflow the day they put my daughter in my arms. JOY COMETH, JOY COMETH!

You mean you don't have her yet?

2007-10-04T13:23:00.000-07:00

Okay so I'm in October 2007 and I have been at this for a year now. The question I get asked most is "Do you have your little girl yet?" To which I want to reply, "Oh my gosh where did I leave her!" No, I still don't have her yet. If you are involved in adopting from Russia you know that accreditation is a term that means everything to the adoption world. Right now 13 agencies are accredited however, mine is not one of them. Why? Something to do with signing of papers and God's timing. So over the course of the past year I have been through a myriad of highs and lows and some in between. Yes, it will happen. Someday she'll be here but I don't know when. So in the mean time I have to redo my papers which are going to expire at the end of this month and hope and pray that I don't have to redo them again! I'm still hoping and praying that she'll be here before Christmas but that would be a miracle on in which I know that God can pull off if He so chooses to do so. I believe that He is capable of snapping His big fingers and everything will change in the twinkling of an eye!
If you believe in me and my word remains in you then anything you ask will be given. Need I say more. Yes, my timetable and His timetable are two different things.

I Take it Back- End of June and into July 2006

2007-06-22T09:54:00.000-07:00

One of the hardest things in my life is letting God be in control. I have a control issue. Yes, I know it is hard to believe if you know me. (I'm being sarcastic) Anyway, after we decided that God was leading us to Russia guess what? I go and start second guessing Him. I start thinking that maybe I should try having a child myself. Right there would be a miracle because I have so many problems female wise. I mean who wouldn't want to have a child with my genes? I would like to point out that this only lasted a week and then I was smacked back on track. I realized that even if I could conceive I would have a 50/50 chance at having a girl and trust me that was not an odd I wanted to play with. There is nothing wrong with boys it is just I wanted a girl.
So, now I have made it into July and in search of an agency to help me. I found one that was two hours away but the chances of them taking me as their client was slim because I was outside of their radius. I decided to try anyway. They called and said that they would and could do it. I was thrilled! I was then assigned my case worker and they said that I wouldn't be meeting with her until the middle of August! Okay, right there I should have started looking again but I didn't. So meanwhile the month of July was spent dreaming about this little girl that would soon take her place in our lives. One day in the pool my best friend, the one I have been referring too I'm going to give her a name, Thelma, she and I were talking about names. She asked me if I had a name picked out and without hesitation I said "London". Thelma looked at me and said it is beautiful. Ever since that day we have referred to our Russian princess as London. Today, we talk about London's room or when London gets here. To us she is real. To us she exists. God knows where she is and in His timing will bring her home one day.

June 2006- You Want Me To Do What?

2007-06-13T07:02:00.001-07:00

June was full of surprises. It started off with my niece's suprise 16th birthday of which I was involved and helped with. It was a lot of fun and yes she was very surprised. The next day her mom and I (my best friend of 25 years) was sitting on their front step resting after taking our walk. We were talking about the birthday party and how well it went off. Yes, we're proud of ourselves! Then her mother looked at me and said ok now it is your turn. I looked at her and said for what? She said to have a baby! Bahahahahahhaaaa! I laughed at her. However I saw this look in her eye and I said you are serious aren't you. She looked back at me paused and said yes then she laughed and said I think so. Then we both laughed. Sometimes God uses people in your life to water the seeds. Seeds which you might have thought were buried, dead and gone, He sends someone in to till up that old soil and water it.
So while we went on to another subject to talk about in the back of my mind was this idea. I mean I have always wanted to be a mother. I mean that was my plan as little girl. I would grow up, marry a handsome man, be a wife and have at least two babies, preferably twins. Uh none of that happened! Here I was 40, single and no handsome (or ugly) man insight! How in the world could I have a baby????
Advance forward two weeks.....my neice's baskteball tournament. Her mother and I are in the car just talking away. I bring up the subject about me having a baby and start laughing again. I look at her mother and said how can I do that I'm single. I know that there are sinlge women that do it all the time but I just don't think that it would be fair to a child well for me anyway. Okay wrong thing to say because that is when she looked at me and said you know I have been thinking about this and if you really wanted to do this I would quit my job and stay home and help raise the baby! WHAT????? Are you serious??? Yes, she was very serious. Just at that time the song, "How Great Is Our God" comes on the radio. By this time we were at the tournament and we could both mull this over while we were watching the game.
At one point in the game this couple came in and their daughter was adopted from Russia sat in front of us. We both looked at each other and started talking about the possibility of adoption. I knew that in the U.S. it would take me forever and I didn't have forever to wait. I need to mention that my niece was adopted so I know how long it can be to wait. We talked about China and then Russia. It was time to take a break and so we went into town to the Wal-Mart. When we got in the car "How Great Is Our God" was playing on the radio again. In Wal-Mart we still kept discussing the options. We kept coming back to Russia everytime. Back inside the car again you guessed it "How Great Is Our God" was playing again. NO, I still didn't get that He was talking to me. It would take me several more months to realize that this was all in His hands. By the end of the day we had decided to check into adopting from Russia and before we left each other we prayed that God would guide us. That is exactly what He did.

May 2006 Something Big is Going To Happen

2007-06-12T07:16:00.000-07:00

May 2006 started out much the same way that most of my May's start out. I'm in rehearsal for a community theatre production and I'm trying my best to get everyone wrapped up a school so that when May 31 comes I'm out the door and I'll see you in August. However, this May I felt that God was making plans for me. I had this feeling that I wouldn't be here or doing theatre like I normally do. Normally, for me is at least 2 or 3 shows a season. I was feeling like He wanted me to go out an minister. That Sunday at church our worship team played the song "How Great Is Our God". I was very moved because I knew that this was going to be the theme of the ministry that He was going to place me on. So, I told my best friend of 25 years, that I just didn't think that next year at this time I would be around here. She looked at me and said ok where will WE be. I laughed and told her that I felt that God had some type of ministry in mind. To know that she was going to be doing whatever ministry it was with me just thrilled me so. So, the two of us started talking about the type of venues that we thought God would put us in. We could see ourselves in big concert halls being the openers for such people like Beth Moore. I'm sure that God had a great laugh on that one! Little did we know what His plan for us would be. In June, He would reveal just what He had in store for the Dynamic Duo.